Next stop: Clark U (Worcester, MA) & Ithaca NY & Los Angeles

Hello Cupcakes.

A quick check in from the Travel Desk here– it’s off to lovely Clark University in Worcester MA for me on Thursday April 11; I’ll be reading on campus that evening (the event is at 6:30 in Atwood Hall). This is the second time I’ve done an event at Clark; last time round, in 2009, they treated me like bloody royalty.  I’m very happy to be returning.

The week after, on Thursday the 18th, I’ll be reading at Planned Parenthood in Ithaca, NY. This reading is of special importance to me because of the role my sister in law, the late Katie Finney played in my life.  Katie lived in the Ithaca region for many years, and was on the board of directors of PP in Ithaca, one of her favorite non-profits.  So this reading will give me a chance to reconnect with friends in the Finger Lakes region, and to think about Katie, who, as readers of my work may know, in some ways enabled my wife and I to realize the depth of our love for each other.  It was Katie who said, when she heard the news of my transition, “Oh, I’m so glad it’s only that you’re a woman; I was afraid it was something serious.”

The day after the Ithaca event, I‘ll fly out to L.A. for the GLAAD media awards gala on Saturday night, April 20, where I’ll be hosting a table and wearing a little black dress.  If you’re interested in joining me at the gala, PLEASE reach out via email (see the contact tab on this page) and I’ll tell you what to do.  It’s not a cheap date–it’s a fundraiser, darling– but it’s for a good cause.  This is my last scheduled appearance in California until the summer, I believe, so do please join me!

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JFB notes from all over: Early Spring 2013

Jennifer Finney Boylan with author Augusten Burroughs at the 2013 NYC GLAAD media awards gala.

Greetings from Belgrade Lakes, from the heart of a busy spring.  Next up is a visit to the University of Maine, in Orono, for two events on Thursday March 21st:

First up, a guest lecture in Professor Caron’s Sexuality class, at 12:30 in DPCorbett.  Then, at 3 PM, I’ll be giving a public lecture in the Bangor Room of the Memorial Union.  I’ll be reading from my new book, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU: Parenthood in Three Genders, as well as talking about the tenth anniversary edition of SHE’S NOT THERE. Both books are coming out from Random House in about a month– end of April.

Next week will find me in Winter Park Florida, at Rollins College, where I’ll be giving a reading and a signing.  I’ll be meeting with smaller groups during the day and giving a public reading at 6 PM on campus on Thursday March 28.  If you’re in the area, do come by– this is my only Florida appearance, so far as I know, scheduled this year.

April will be a cyclone, featuring the publication of the two new books, and appearances by me and the family on two NBC shows– the TODAY show on the morning of April 26, and Rock Center with Brian Williams that same night. The correspondent is Harry Smith, who was tremendously decent to all of us during the shoot last week.  There are other readings scheduled for April– Clark University in Worcester, Mass, on the 11th, and at Ithaca Planned Parenthood on April 18.  Plus, the Los Angeles GLAAD media awards gala on April 20. I’ll be posting more on the April book tour and rollout as it gets nearer.

JFB and amazing wife Deedie ("Grace") Boylan at the GLAAD awards, 3/16/13

There will be an excerpt from the new book as well as a feature on my family, and an interview and photo spread of all of us, in PEOPLE magazine, on sale the last week of April.  With any luck, all of this will jump start the book, and I hope it finds its way into the hands of plenty of readers.

This last week I was lucky enough to speak at the Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, PA, and I want to thank all the folks I met there.  It was on to the GLAAD media awards Gala in NYC right after that; you can see some of the photos from that event on this page including this photo of me with my guest Augusten Burroughs.

You may have heard news of Madonna, wearing a cub scout uniform, making a tribute to Anderson Cooper, and yes: that happened.  But for me the bigger story was the speech made by GLAAD’s president, Herndon Graddick, in which he dedicated the organization to transgender advocacy, placing trans rights at the center of what the organizaiton does. For my guests, most of the transfolks of one stripe or another, it was a very moving moment.

That’s the quick rundown from here.  See you soon, I hope– with love, JFB

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Latest Psychology Today blog: “In the Early Morning Rain”

JFB in boy days; this photo is circa 1974.

My latest blog at Psychology Today is up.  This one’s a re-visit of a story first told, in somewhat different form, in She’s Not There.

When I was young there was a time when I figured, the hell with it. I’d never even said the word transgender out loud. I couldn’t imagine saying it, ever. I mean, please.So instead, one day a few years after I got out of college, I loaded all my things into the Volkswagen and started driving. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I knew I wanted to get away from the Maryland spring, with its cherry blossoms and its bursting tulips and all its bullshit. I figured I’d keep driving father and farther north until there weren’t any people. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do then, but I was certain something would occur to me that would end this transgender business once and for all.

I set my sights on Nova Scotia. I drove to Maine and took a ferry out of Bar Harbor. I drove onto the S.S. Bluenose and stood on the deck and watched America drift away behind me, which as far as I was concerned was just fine.

There was someone walking around in a rabbit costume on the ship. He’d pose with you and they’d snap your picture and an hour or so later you could purchase the photo of yourself with the rabbit as a memento of your trip to Nova Scotia. I purchased mine. It showed a sad looking boy——I think that’s a boy—– with long hair reading a book of poetry as a motheaten rabbit bends over him.

In Nova Scotia I drove the car east and north for a few days. When dusk came, I’d eat in a diner, and then I’d sleep either in the car or in a small tent that I had in the back. There were scattered patches of snow up there, even in May. I kept going north until…

(click  here for the rest of the story.)

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Join JFB and a table of celebrity guests at the GLAAD media awards!

Hello there, you wonderful readers, you. How’d you like to have dinner with me, and 19 other friends–literary celebrities, Hollywood stars, trans activists, revered authors, and other dear friends of mine?

Some of you know I serve on the Board of Directors at GLAAD, the PR group for the LGBT movement that leads the conversation on equality for our people.  We monitor media representation of LGBT people; when the coverage is wrong, we try to make it better.  When it’s good, we applaud a job well done.  One way we raise money for GLAAD is through the Media Awards Galas– these are like the gay Oscars.  It’s a fabulous evening, featuring cocktails, dinner, and the show itself.  There’s always great entertainment– last year it was Cirque du Soleil (the group that always makes me want to sing, “Cirque du Soleil for the San Tropez tan.”)

There are surprises, celebrity guests,  and events planned for this years event in New York on March 16, which I can’t yet divulge, but they are truly amazing.

What I can reveal at this time is a partial guest list of my table.  How about author Augusten Burroughs (RUNNING WITH SCISSORS),  activist and writers Kate Bornstein (GENDER OUTLAW) and Barbara Carellas (ECSTASY IS NECESSARY); New Yorker writer Andrew Solomon (FAR FROM THE TREE) and actor John Leguizamo (WONG FOO, ROMEO+JULIET, ICE AGE, etc.)

How would you like to join me at that table and hang out with these gentle, lovely artists and performers?  Not to mention my wife Deedie and my son Zach?  And many other dear friends as well?

Well, you could simply buy a ticket by clicking here. It’s a very, very expensive date, which I’m sorry about, except that hey! it’s a fundraiser, and this is how we keep the lights on.  It’s $500 a plate.  I am hosting two tables of ten people each. As of today, (Valentine’s Day), I have 5 free seats left.  I would be very grateful–and TOTALLY PSYCHED– if you would join me.

When you follow that link, note that there’s a pulldown menu after the place where you enter in your info for “Choose table host.”  That’s where you’ll select me.  And afterwards, please email me at jb@jenniferboylan.net to let me know you’re on board.  As I said, there are only five seats left now, and I fear they will go swiftly.  But please join me!  I would love to meet you, and introduce you to these lovely, generous artists.

The event is on Saturday March 16, at the Marriott Marquis hotel, in Times Square.  The red carpet starts around 5:30, and then cocktails are from 6-7. Dinner at 7;  and the show itself at 8.  Get your GLAAD on, and please come!

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“We Can’t Call You Daddy if You’re Going to be a Girl.”

Here’s this weeks blog post over at my new digs at Psychology Today.  This one’s about how my sons found a name for me, and how that moment finally helped me realize things were going to be all right.

The JFB home page at PT provides links to all the blog posts, as well as containing some highly entertaining other material.

“We Can’t Call You Daddy if You’re Going to be a Girl”
Coming out as trans was hard.  Finding a name that my sons wanted to call me was harder.
By 2002, transition was behind me. I’d been a boy, but now I was a woman. It had been a long journey, involving therapy, endocrinology, a minister, a social worker, and a trip to the large size shoe store. There were times when it seemed as if that journey–which more than anything else resembled a kind of emigration–was never going to end.

I had plenty of friends in the transgender community who suggested that it never would end, in fact; one such well wisher even sent me, on the day of my surgery, a card that said, “Now the journey really begins!” I remember putting the card aside with a feeling of exhaustion. The last thing I wanted, after everything my family had been through, was another journey.

And for the most part, that turned out to be true. As a couple, my wife and I went from a time in which we suddenly seemed, after twelve years together, like strangers, to a time in which once again we seemed familiar, if altered. I went back to work at the college and my students rolled with the changes. In time they were replaced by a new generation of students, young scholars who had never known me in the days Before.

Whatever it was I’d imagined I’d become, before I changed genders, had finally been replaced by the reality–both difficult and joyful– of what being a woman in the culture was actually going to mean.

There was one question though, that nagged at me, however, that woke me up in the middle of the night, and which caused me to lie there in the dark, unable to conjure an answer. What about the boys, a voice asked me. What about your two sons?

Now, speaking from the vantage point of my fifties–and my sons’ late teens– I know that…. (for the rest of the blog click here).

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New JFB blog at Psychology Today: Stuck in the Middle with You

I have a new blog over at Psychology Today, about mothers, fathers, trans experience, family, and the mutability and morphability of life.  I’d be very grateful if fans of my work would check it out, as views of the blog over at PT will be seen by its editors as a vote of confidence in me, in “mainstreaming” trans issues, and of course, in my writing.  The blog is also, naturally enough, shining a light on STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU, ramping up for publication from Crown/Random House this spring.

I really hope you enjoy the blog, and will keep up with it.  I’m going to try to write something every week.

UPDATE: January 22nd: the second blog in the series is here:

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU:

PARENTHOOD IN THREE GENDERS

by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Psychology Today

Late last summer, my wife and two sons climbed Mt. Katahdin in Maine. That trip was something of a swan song for the family we had been— less than a week later, our older boy Zach would depart for his freshman year at Vassar, and the rest of us, including 16-year-old Sean, would have to begin to learn what it was like to be a group of three.The morning was rainy, and as the sun came out, mist and fog rose all around the ridges of Hamlin Peak and theKnife Edge Trail.

It wasn’t the first mountain our family had climbed, nor, for that matter was it the first time we’d all been through a mysterious set of changes.

When I came out as transgender, my boys were six and four, back in 2000. For a while back then we weren’t as certain who we were anymore. The four of us, as familiar to one another as family members can be, suddenly found ourselves morphing into something new, something unrecognizable.

For my sons, it had meant going from…(click here to read the rest of the piece on the Psychology Today site.)

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First review for my new book!

First review for STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU: A memoir of parenting in three genders is out today, and it’s a rave.

“This informal investigation and her touchingly funny and always candid story work together to reveal the book’s ultimate truth: that ‘to accept the wondrous scope of gender is to affirm the vast potential of life in all its messy, unfathomable beauty’… Boylan’s book is genuinely insightful through and through. A warm, engaging memoir.” – Kirkus Reviews.

Kirkus is kind of an inside-publishing publication, but it’s influential and well-regarded.  I’ve had mixed success with them over the years– they really liked SHE’S NOT THERE, but weren’t wild about the FALCON QUINN series.  I’m grateful STUCK IN THE MIDDLE seemed to speak to them, and I’m hopeful, naturally, that this is a harbinger of other nice notices in the months ahead.

Pub date is April 21, with physical books probably shipping a little earlier.  It’s going to be a wild spring!  Fasten your seat belts.

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Announcing the December Project: Surviving the Holidays with the trans community

I wanted to announce what we’re calling THE DECEMBER PROJECT, a reachout by Dylan Scholinski, Mara Keisling, Jennifer Finney Boylan, and Helen Boyd to raise the spirits of people in the trans community during what can be a difficult time of year.

We are trans activists, homebodies, authors, parents, spouses, artists, and teachers, including a trans man, two trans women, and a loving spouse.  Here’s our pledge to you: If you feel low this December, and need someone to talk to, contact us, and we’ll call you on the phone.  Period.

We want to make clear that we are not therapists, and that anyone in a serious crisis should dial 911, or seek professional help from qualified folks in the helping professions.

On the other hand we are people who may have experienced what you are feeling, and it is our hope that simply having someone to listen or talk to this December will have value.   This project is 100% free and no one involved in it is getting anything out of it other than the opportunity to help.

Trans people– and the people that love them– face unique challenges during the holidays.  Too often we can find ourselves separated from families, from spouses and children and parents.  It’s a time of year that, as Dickens well noted, can be the most haunted of all, a time when we travel in time and feel all too keenly the distance between ourselves and others, when what we most desire is warmth, and community, and love.

So think of us as friends you haven’t met yet.  Want to talk to somebody on the phone?  Here’s what to do: 1) send an email to Jenny Boylan at JB@jenniferboylan.net, and in the subject heading write, DECEMBER PROJECT.  List your name, your phone number, and the time when we can reach you–preferably with a few different choices.  Let us know which one of us you want to talk to.

You can also contact people directly through Facebook– ask to “friend” Jennifer Finney Boylan and then make your request through the Direct Message page, and JFB will forward your request to the person you’ve asked for. (or if you’re friends with Mara, or Helen, or Dylan, you can contact them directly.)

If we can’t reach you, or if the person you’ve requested isn’t available, we’ll let you know that too.  Also, if we get overwhelmed, we’ll also tell you that.

So let us help.  And you don’t need to be in trouble to participate in the December Project.  If you want to celebrate all the good things in your life and share your sense of joy– we’re good with that too.

Who we are:

Helen Boyd is an author of 2 books, including MY HUSBAND BETTY, an account of life with a trans spouse.  She is a well regarded spokeswoman for trans people and the people that love them, especially spouses and partners.  She’s a Lecturer in Gender and Freshman Studies at Lawrence University in Wisconsin.

Jennifer Finney Boylan, an author of 13 books including SHE’S NOT THERE: A LIFE IN TWO GENDERS.  An English teacher at Colby College in Maine, a trans woman, wife to Deirdre Boylan, and mother (or “Maddy”) to two fine young men, Zach and Sean.  Serves on the board of directors of GLAAD and on the board of trustees at the Kinsey Institute.

Mara Keisling is founding executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality.  She is well known as a commentator on trans issues; she lives in Washington DC.

Dylan Scholinski was born Daphne Scholinski. He currently lives in Boulder, CO with his beautiful wife and 4 year old son and is the Founder/Witness of Sent(a)Mental Studios as well as a distinguished artist, author and public speaker. His most recent book was The Last Time I Wore a Dress, listed by Out Magazine as one of its Top Ten Must Reads.

We send everybody love, and hope that this month is a time of hope.

Email for The December Project:

jb@jenniferboylan.net

FB: Jennifer Finney Boylan.

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JFB video for I AM: Trans People Speak

Here I am speaking about trans experience as part of GLAAD’s amazing new series: I AM: Trans People Speak.

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Would you like Jenny Boylan to visit your bookstore, college, or local venue this spring?

Hello, friends.  Random House is gearing up to send me out on the road in spring 2013 in support of my new book, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU: Parenthood in Three Genders, as well as the 10th anniversary expanded edition of SHE’S NOT THERE. Pub date is April 23rd, and I’m likely to be travelling from coast to coast at that time, reading in bookstores, at colleges, doing TV and radio interviews, and visiting other venues to talk about motherhood, fatherhood, and diversity.

If you’re interested in having me visit your town, let me know and I’ll pass it on to my rep at the Random House Speakers Bureau, Mr. Wade Lucas.  You can email me at jb@randomhouse.com (put SPEAKING GIG or something in the subject line).  Or you can contact Wade directly at walucas@randomhouse.com.

More info on appearances can be found here.

Thanks.  I’m looking forward to being stuck in the middle with YOU.

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  • The Boylan Family, summer 2010

    DSC_0063 "You hang around our family, you learn all kinds of stuff."
  • Will Forte as Jennifer Finney Boylan on “Saturday Night Live”

    WiFo-Jennifer Finney Boylan-1
  • Jenny with Barbara Walters, December, 2008

    wawa
  • Jenny atop Maine’s Mount Katahdin

    2036947979_34bfbec240 August, 2002.
  • Surrounded

    boylanWith President Clinton and Maine's Governor John Baldacci, fall 2006.
  • JFB and Edward Albee

    edward_albee_by_fred_j_field-150x150

    Edward had been my teacher at Johns Hopkins in the winter of 1986. He visited Colby in fall, 2007. As we took our leave of each other, he kissed me on both cheeks and said, "We have done well. You and I."

  • Jenny and her teacher, the great John Barth

    Boylan_Barth

    Jack was my professor at JHU when I did my thesis, back in the day. After many years, I can now confidently say I finally understand his definition of plot. Which is, of course, "the perturbation of an unstable homeostatic system and its catastrophic restoration to a new and complexified equilibrium."